Our wise elders say, “When the wealthy dictate the rules, the POOR pays with blood.”
The Proposal That Made a Nation Proud
Ghana’s Minority Leader, Alexander Afenyo-Markin, believes MPs deserve their hospital. That’s right—a plush, taxpayer-funded VIP health palace exclusively for the hard-working, long-suffering, and utterly underappreciated members of Parliament. Why? Because “the demands of parliamentary work require specialised healthcare.” Of course! Nothing strains the human body quite like… debating sitting allowances.
And who can blame them? After all, Ghanaian politicians were ranked 7th most educated globally—above Japan, France, and even Canada. Indeed, with such world-class minds, their bodies must be under unusual stress from bearing the sheer weight of wisdom. Not every day you find a Parliament so intellectually stacked that it practically radiates brilliance. Ghana’s problems don’t lie in policy failure; they stem from physical exhaustion from thinking too hard. That’s why we must build a hospital for them. They’re not just lawmakers—they are national treasures needing constant preservation.
Let’s not forget—these same MPs once demanded sirens to cut through traffic. Next, we’ll hear calls for oxygenated air in Parliament or silk toilet paper from Dubai.
Let’s not forget—this is the same Parliament where some MPs are so “intellectually blessed” that sessions occasionally switch to Twi, not for inclusivity, but because some honourable members find English too colonial for their eloquence. All that wisdom flows better in the mother tongue. Who needs Shakespeare when you’ve got ha hahaha, “ɛyɛ asɛm oo”?
Bold claim of the year: Ghanaian politicians are the hardest-working, most selfless patriots alive. Ghanaians are lazy, but not our MPs and politicians. Clap for them.
Two Ghanas, One Nation
Ghana boasts around 200 hospitals for 30 million people. That’s like sharing one water sachet with an entire VIP bus that shuttles between Accra and Kumasi of 40 people. Meanwhile, MPs want their hospital with marble floors, golden stethoscopes, and nurses on standby 24/7… because, you know, “high demands.”
In rural Ghana, women give birth on cement floors; the truth is they deserve it. Children die from malaria because there’s no doctor in sight. Yet, in Accra, there is considerable debate about which Italian tiles should line the MP hospital lobby. We are a nation of excellent priorities.
Fact: According to the Ministry of Health, only 51% of Ghana’s health facilities have access to clean water. But by all means, let’s invest in Parliament’s private jacuzzi ward.
Health Insurance Scheme or Hustle in Disguise?
The National Health Insurance Scheme crawls like a goat on wet clay. Hospitals go for months without payment. Doctors work with broken and outdated equipment. And Ghanaians? They are left clutching prescriptions they cannot afford, praying not to fall ill during Dum Sor—those power cuts that darken lives and hospitals alike.
But wait—our MPs jet off to Europe for a sprained toe. Parliamentary expenditure reports reveal they spend over $2 million annually on medical trips abroad. Malaria? For the masses. MPs? A quick trip to Zurich. That $2 million could build 10 clinics or pay 1,000 nurses. But why build for the people when MPs and politicians have created a utopia called Ghana?
Public Rage: Shito-Level Heat
The backlash? Social media simmered with hashtags like #MPHospital and #GhanaDeservesBetter. One user captured it perfectly: “MPs want sirens and hospitals while we queue for Panadol? Leadership or stand-up comedy?”
Radio show hosts asked coconut sellers and Uber drivers what was on their minds: “Where’s the hospital for the people who elected you?”
Spoiler: Ghanaians are ungrateful beings. Without our politicians, we are nothing. If we were wise, we would build statues of every politician in every corner of our cities and visit them every minute we can.
Global Reality Check: What Do Real Leaders Do?
In Britain, MPs wait in line like everyone else for healthcare—there are no exclusive hospitals, sirens, or drama. Why? Because they are not as intelligent as our politicians. By all accounts, Ghana is a superior country to Britain in all respects. True leadership involves addressing systemic issues, not avoiding them, and Ghanaian politicians have surpassed acceptable standards.
In Rwanda and Botswana, politicians share waiting rooms with citizens. The message is clear: illness does not respect your title, so serve your people before yourself. However, in Ghana, our leaders seek a fortress to protect the populace and shield themselves from the people.
Even in India—yes, the chaotic nation of 1.4 billion—politicians abandoned VIP wards following public outcry. And here we are, attempting to build one.
Chink in the Armour: Public Service or Personal Spa?
Let’s serve the truth hotter than fresh pepper soup. No one denies MPs deserve healthcare—they’re human (allegedly). But when schools lack chalk, clinics lack gloves, and ambulances are rarer than election promises kept, your unique hospital dream is a crime, not a request.
According to the Auditor General’s 2023 report, $890 million was lost to health sector corruption. That’s 890 million reasons MPs should sit down, zip it, and fix what’s broken.
Fact: An average rural clinic costs £300,000 to build. The MP hospital? £20 million minimum. That could fund 66 clinics or equip 10,000 health workers. But sure, let’s buy MPs ergonomic massage chairs instead.
Tiger’s Roar: Burn the Blueprint Now!
Hear me roar, family! This proposal isn’t merely elitist—it’s a colonial daydream draped in batakari cloth. Rather than fleeing from the blazing inferno of healthcare collapse, true leaders seize buckets and combat the flames alongside the people.
Ghana’s Parliament should build systems that serve the kayayo, the CEO, the teacher, and the Minister. Achieving healthcare equity is not a charitable act—it is fundamental governance.
As long as MPs treat our survival like a side quest, Ghana’s progress will remain as elusive as rain in December.
Call to Action: Applaud Luxury, Embrace Mediocrity
Ghanaians, let’s not fight it—let’s clap. Let us applaud this bold new era in which politicians construct private utopias while we wait in line for paracetamol. Let’s continue electing leaders who regard our survival as a minor inconvenience. After all, it’s our civic duty to suffer in silence while our MPs enjoy Italian tiles and European doctors for sprained ankles.
Let every MP, DCE, minister, and party foot soldier indulge in their sirens, golden beds, and personal hospitals. They’ve earned it—not by building the nation but by mastering the fine art of public deception and private enjoyment.
If we, the citizens, choose not to read, protest, or demand better, then we truly deserve what we get. Let us remain loyal voters and professional mourners. Let the MPs live large. They are wise; we are willingly ignorant. It’s not a betrayal if we continue begging them to do it again.
One elite indulgence at a time: family. One blissfully uninformed vote at a time.